Living With A Special Needs Child

A friend sent me this link today knowing a few things about me, one I have a special needs child and two I enjoy listening to Joyce Meyer - I would love for you to take 28 minutes and listen to this message, it doesn't matter if you have a child with special needs, I'm sure you know someone who does (if you reading this blog you know someone who does - me!).
http://joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=Raising_Special_Needs_Children

I thought this message was timely, here's why; Every year for the past 5 years our church as put on a banquet for families who have been touched by disabilities called The Luke 14 Banquet. The event is based on the story from the Bible in Luke chapter 14 where the master sends his servants into the streets to invite the lame, the weak and the destitute to join him for a banquet. (the quick Scott version). Anyway we hold this banquet on Valentine's Day and have approximately 1000 guest and over 500 volunteers join us at 3 different locations for an evening of full red carpet treatment. Valet Parking, a walk down the red carpet complete with paparazzi, dinner, dancing and entertainment all for free for these special need folks, their families and caregivers. I love to see the joy in the faces of the guests as they are showed the love of Christ through service to them and their families.
http://shed.seacoast.org/campusfiles/video/Vid_Announcement/140126-Dispatch-MtP-Luke14-v1.mp4

I also thought this would be a good time for me to share my story of Coleman, my special gift and blessing from God.  If you watched the video you heard several times about how these children are a blessing and Coleman is a blessing in our lives - a challenge, but a blessing. I loved how Joyce said; "Its not something you're ready for but it is something God equips you for." And that is so true. When we were pregnant with Coleman we did not know she was going to be born with Down Syndrome. It wasn't until after she was born that we saw the features. I don't even think Meghan and I said anything at first to each other, it took a some time before we even mentioned it to one another, or even to the nurse. We did the genetic testing and it was confirmed that Coleman had DS.
I remember one of my first thoughts was; there goes my dream of walking my daughter down the aisle some day.  Then the next thought was;  if she does have DS they are such lovable kids and Tradd (my oldest child) was going to really take to her and protect her. And on most days he does. He also serves in our church's special needs ministry every weekend. I'm not really sure he would do that if we did not have Coleman in our lives.As the days past and we brought Coleman home from the hospital I remember to powerful thoughts I had that I believe were from God. One was me asking God why? Why me? Why did he give me a child with special needs? And I felt like God hit me across the head with a 2X4 and said; "Why not you? What makes you think you are above having a child with special needs." This was a sobering thought, but I was still walking around in a cloud trying to process this "adventure" I was on. One day while walking around the outlet mall I felt like God talked to me again asking me "Why are you walking around here? I gave you a beautiful gift and and either wallow in self pity, or you can go home and embrace the gift I have given you." I would love to say that from that moment everything changed and it was all a bed of roses from that day forward. However I would be lying. The next news we received was that Coleman had an AV Canal Defect and would need to have heart surgery. I tried to stay strong, I tried to put on my Christian face and say everything is okay, God is in control, but I didn't feel that way on the inside. Inside my head, I was planning Coleman's funeral because I didn't believe that it was going to be okay. Coleman ended up in the hospital at four months old with pneumonia, God saw her through it, but I still wasn't convinced she was going to make it through surgery. Then just a month before she was to have surgery (which she had at six months of age) I was at a conference and the worship team was singing Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone. As they sang the last verse "The earth will soon dissolve like snow, the sun forebear to shine, but God who called me here below will be forever mine." There was just something about that verse and we sang it over and over again and at one point I felt like I was the only one in the room - no one else and I was just singing that verse and I felt like God just gave me supernatural peace about the surgery.  I remember calling Meghan about it and her saying she was feeling the same peace and both confessing to the other the thoughts of planning a funeral in our head.
Over the years Coleman has been such a HUGE blessing to our family and anyone who meets her. She is now seven and a joy to be around (most of the time, after all she still is a child). Her siblings have their moments with her. Her younger sister Drayton often comments that she is Coleman's older sister because she helps Coleman so much.
At the age of 4 while on vacation in Michigan, Coleman got Croup and pneumonia at the same time. She was on a ventilator and was in ICU for 10 days. Meghan or I was always at her side except this one night. Coleman had been doing really well, and they even talked about taking her off the vent the next day so the nurse suggested we both go to the room the hospital provided for us to get some rest. I checked on Coleman in the middle of the night and she was doing really good. The next morning I headed down to the room around 6 am to find the room full of doctors and equipment. Sometime early that morning Coleman took a turn for the worse and the doctors weren't sure what was going on. The vent had been turned back up to 100%, they were checking her heart and everything else they could think of. I remember walking over to the widow of her room, staring out the window and looking up at the sky with tears streaming down my face I said; "God I really want you to heal my little girl, but if you take her home to be with you I won't like it, but I will still love you."
A couple days later God healed Coleman and we were able to leave the hospital and bring her home once more. I praise God for his healing powers.
With everything we have been through with Coleman I have to say I would not change a thing. I would not ask God to take away her DS - and even in the challenging times of pneumonia and heart surgery God drew me closer to Him and I am very thankful for that.

I just wanted to share my story of living with a special needs child! She is a huge blessing to me, even when she wakes me at 5 am. I love her to pieces as I do all my children and I know that God sees her as Valuable and she has a purpose!

Thorn Time

It is that time once again...Thorn Time!!!! What is the Thorn you ask, well I'll tell you; 
The Thorn is a visually dynamic and heart-stirring theatrical portrayal of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Not your average Passion play, The Thorn combines martial arts, aerial acrobatics and emotionally powerful performances that have been engaging audiences across the US for almost 20 years. You can find out more about Thorn Productions by visiting www.thethorn.net 
Over the past several years I have had the joy of stage managing and producing the Thorn in Charleston, SC, Austin, TX and Nashville, TN. This year I will be traveling with the Thorn Staff to the west coast to stage manage the show.  Being able to share the gospel of Jesus Christ through a theatrical performance is right up my alley.  I love telling the story of Christ and I enjoy the theater, the two combined makes for a happy me!  
This year the Thorn will be in;
Denver, CO - March 24-31
Seattle, WA - April 1-7
Colorado Springs & Sacramento, CA - April 7-14
Nashville, TN - April 14-21 
If you get the chance you should check out one of these performances, and bring a friend with you - it is a powerful and amazing story come to life through music, dance, acrobats and drama.

Here's another way you can help out - you can support me as I prepare to travel with the Thorn. You can support me through prayer or financially. Please check out my fund raising site; http://www.fundeasy.com/m/1671380/

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support!

Gratitude vs. Entitlement!

I've been thinking a lot about this topic for some time now and I decided I needed to blog about it. I said this blog was a place for me to get things off my mind and so I'm just gonna say it... I can't stand Entitlement!
In my opinion we live in a society of Entitlement. And I really have a hard time when I see Christians with an Entitlement mentality. It breaks my heart to see and hear believers walking around expecting things because they "deserve" them. The reality is we all deserve death and separation from God - that is what we deserve, myself included. We are sinners who have been given a second chance because of God's love for us.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Entitlement as:

• the condition of having a right to have, do, or get something
• the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges)

Here is why entitlement bothers me - in Matthew 20:28 it says; The son of man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. If anyone could have had an entitlement mentality it was Jesus, after all he was the son of God. His daddy could create things with his very words and wipe entire nations out in the blink of an eye. Jesus could have had anything he wanted, but it would not have been good for us if Jesus went around with an entitlement attitude. Jesus came for us, not for him.

I saw this quote online by Steven Furtick; "Gratitude begins where my sense of entitlement ends."

Merriam-Webster defines Gratitude as:

• the state of being grateful

We need to stop expecting things from others because we feel we deserve them and start being grateful for the things we have. Instead of expecting others to serve us, how about we try and out serve one another in Christian Love.

I just needed to get that off my chest. My heart just breaks when I see and hear people, especially Christ followers, treating others poorly or expecting things from others and businesses because they "deserve" it. The whole "Do you know who I am..." attitude just really bugs me. Do you know who I am, I am the child of the King! A sinner saved by grace - the same as you and I don't deserve anything more than death, but by the Grace of God go I!

Saving Mr. Banks...my thoughts

If you know me you know I love Disney! I love the Disney Movies, I love Disney World (never been to Disney Land or on a Disney Cruise but I'm sure I would love them too). But more than anything I love Walt Disney and his ability to create what he imagines. So it is no wonder one of my new favorite movies is Saving Mr. Banks.  Meghan and I got to see it last Sunday and I have been thinking about it ever since, watching other documentaries on P.L. Travers and the making of Disney's Mary Poppins.
As I watched the movie I ran the gamut of emotions. I laughed, I cried (I really wanted to do the ugly cry but held onto my man card and didn't do it). There was one line in the movie that I wish I would have been able to write down. (after some searching on the internet I found it) It came in the scene where Walt went to see Pamela Travers in London. He was explaining about his childhood and his relationship with his father. After explaining he said;

" Now, i don't tell you all this to make you sad Mrs. Travers, I don't. I love my life - it's a miracle. And I  loved my daddy, boy I loved him. But, there isn't a day goes by where I don't think of that little boy in the snow and old Elias with his fist and strap and I'm just so tired--I'm tired of remembering it that way...We all have our tales but don't you want to find a way to finish the story? Let it all go and have a life that isn't dictated by a past?"

That part of the story really hit home. No I'm not saying I had a mean father who beat me that's not what I'm getting at. The point I want to make with this is that we all have a past, everyone of us. Some worse than other. But how you remember it, what you make of it makes the difference.  I love how Walt says; "I'm tired of remembering it that way.." What is it in your life that you are remembering "that way..." Maybe it was an abusive parent or guardian, maybe it was a bully or mean kids at school. Maybe it is like the story of Helen Goff with an alcoholic father who died too young. Whatever the past is it is just that, the past. "Let it go and have a life that isn't dictated by the past."
How are you going to finish the story? By allowing your past to dictate your future, or by learning from the past, forgiving whoever you need to forgive, maybe that's yourself and use the past to change the future, for yourself and others.
Just a thought - hope it blesses you!

Side note - if you have not seen this movie please go see it. It is a wonderful movie and very well done. I hope it wins many awards. It really is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Just my two cents.

Are You a Clanging Cymbal?

1 Corinthians 13:1

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

I think John Maxwell said it best in his book Winning with People; "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  Over the years I have realized how true this statement is. Not just how I view other people but how they view me. You can be the smartest person alive but unless I know you genuinely care for or about me and my well being I don't care about what you have to say.  I know that sounds harsh, but the same is true when you turn the statement around. If you don't think I care about your well being or you personally then you are not going to care about what I have to say either. There are several people who read this blog that I have never met and will likely never meet in my life time. But I write these blogs to help me and hopefully bless others who might be facing the same or similar situations in life.

Here's the funny thing about me, if you know me you would think that I am an extrovert and you would be right. I love being around people, I love people watching, I love being with my people... I'm not so good however with groups of people I don't know. I'm not good around people who are not my people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rude. It just takes me a while to warm up to people and let them into my life so to speak.  I'm afraid this comes off as standoffish at times.

For example one weekend our senior pastor walked down to the 2 year old department to say hello to his grandchild. While he was there he talked to the volunteers in the room.  The Nursery director at the time came up after our pastor left and talked to the volunteers about how exciting it was to have the senior pastor come and talk to them. There response surprised me. They said that it was nice but that they would rather have me, the children's pastor, stop by and talk to them.  You see I always went by and talked to the kids in the classrooms, but rarely engaged the volunteers in conversation, thus making them feel unappreciated or unloved.  You see they didn't care how much I knew about Children's Ministry or anything else for that matter because I wasn't showing them love. I still go around to the different classrooms and talk with the kids, but now I am more aware of taking the time to talk with the volunteers in the rooms. I'm not fake about it, I am very grateful they are there and want to know more about each of them.

How are you doing with the people around you - are you a clanging cymbal, or are you showing genuine love? 

How to Have Longevity in Children's Ministry or any job you are called to do.

This is a blog post I wrote for my friend, Melanie Stone, you can check out her blog here: http://growchurches.com/how-to-have-longevity-in-childrens-ministry

I hope it will bless you!

My name is Scott Kinney and I am the Children’s Pastor at Seacoast Church in Mount Pleasant, SC. I have been on staff with Seacoast for 12+ years and have been involved with Children’s ministry in every possible capacity since I was 16 years old …and that was a long time ago! Over the years, I have faced frustration, aggravation, and burn-out. So, how am I still doing this after all those years? It’s kind of simple, it’s my calling.

Oh, I have wanted to walk away, not just from Children’s Ministry, but ministry all together. There were times in ministry that I thought it would be more fulfilling to work as a greeter at Wal-Mart. To be able to stand and say hello as folks walked by, give a smiley face sticker to a kid (do they even do that at Wal-Mart anymore?) or to point someone in the right direction. Yes, there have been times I wanted to give up ministry all together. The problem was… God hadn’t released me. In those times, I had to stop and realign myself with the calling God had placed on my life.  Here are some things I have learned over the years, when I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up.

·         Am I working at a job or a calling? – In those moments when I’m frustrated, God reminds me that HE has called me to this. It isn’t a job, it isn’t a career – it is a calling – and until he releases me from where he has called me, I am to keep on running the race that is before me. I have a poster that hangs on my bulletin board by my desk that was put out by Group Publishing a few years ago. It is titled “Job or Ministry?” I keep it there to remind me that “Some people have a job in the church, others involve themselves in ministry!” I never want my work for the Lord to become just a job – but to continue to do ministry for the One who called me.

·         Who am I working for? – Another thing I need to check myself on is who am I trying to please? Am I working to please my Senior Pastor, my Campus Pastor, my team, the children, the parents, my family, myself? …the list goes on and on! When I forget that God called me to Children’s Ministry and when I take focus off of pleasing Him, I get frustrated, mad and upset. I’m not talking just about Children’s Ministry programing, I’m also talking about things like: Am I wearing the right clothes? Do I have the right “look”? Am I still young and hip enough to do what I do? When I try to please man it makes me lose focus on what really matters. Only when I stop and realize the reason I do what I do is for an audience of ONE can I put things in perspective and refocus on my calling.

·         How is my God time? – I know what you are thinking, “you work for God, you’re always spending time with Him.” Not true. I can easily get wrapped up in thinking that because I am working on a weekend or midweek lesson that it counts as “quiet time with the Lord”. Nothing could be further from the truth. Now, there have been lots of times that God teaches me things when I am preparing a lesson, but it is not actually my time with God, it really is work. I need to regularly check myself and ask: Have I been spending time with God? Am I reading His word? Talking to Him? Listening to Him? It’s easy for me to talk to God, but to be still and listen to Him takes a lot more work on my end. If this is an area of my life and walk that is not so good, I might need to take some time away from the office and get things right with God first. I’m of no use to my team, or the children I’m responsible for, if I am not in alignment with God.  Another area of my God time is: Am I being fed? Am I attending regular worship services? I know after all my time in Children’s Ministry, it isn’t easy to get into attend a service on the weekends, so what we have started doing as a Children’s Ministry team is watching the message together on Monday morning. Fortunately for us here at Seacoast, we have an Online service and the online campus pastor set up a special service just for us to watch on Monday mornings.  However, if your church does not record weekend services, there are tons of churches out there that do – watch a podcast together as  a team or another online church service. However, it is not where we want to be as a team. Our goal is to have enough strong leaders (volunteers) leading the classrooms so that we can attend services with our families – that is the ultimate goal. So for now, we found a quick fix and that is attending together as a team on Monday mornings.

·         What is the enemy up to? – One other area I need to look at when I get to the point of giving up is: What is the enemy up to? We really do have an enemy in our lives. It’s not the kids or their parents. It’s not your boss, your co-workers, or even your spouse – there is a real enemy lurking about. The Bible says in John 10:10 that the thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy. What is it that the enemy is trying to steal from you? Your joy? The children in your ministry? What is he trying to kill? Your passion for serving kids and families? What is he trying to destroy? Your work? Your calling?  There are times when I want to throw in the towel and God reminds me of the enemy and tells me to stand my ground! Satan would like nothing more than to see all of us throw up our hands and say “we quit!” I would hate to quit and allow the enemy to win in the life of one of our kids. Remember Ephesians 6:10-18

¹⁰ A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹² For we^[c] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. ¹⁴ Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. ¹⁵ For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.^{[d] 16} In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.^{[e] 17} Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.^[f]

So, let me wrap up by saying that Children’s Ministry is not easy and there will be times you want to throw in the towel and take a job at Wal-Mart, but don’t! You will be missing out on some of the most wonderful blessings you could ever imagine.

For those of you leading Children’s Ministry Directors, Ministers, or Pastors be sure to encourage them. Be sure to pour into them, love on them, and appreciate them. Watch for signs of burnout or frustration and step in and offer to help out. Help them to remember that they are called by God to do what they are doing. Remind them that they are working for an audience of ONE! Ask them how their time with God is going? Pray for them and against the attack of the enemy. They really are valuable to your church. I heard a Children’s Pastor once say; “You can do church without greeters and ushers – things might get crazy but you can do it. You can even do church without coffee and donuts. But try doing church without Children’s Ministry and things will shut down quickly.” Children’s Ministry isn’t babysitting anymore – it is hard work dealing with kids, parents and volunteers week after week. Show some love to your Children’s workers today – you’ll be glad you did.

 

O Come, O Come - thoughts about 2014 and adoption

Happy 2014 Everyone! I can't believe 2013 is gone and we are starting a new year! A new year with new beginnings and new adventures. I'm usually not overly excited about a new year, I mean its great we get to set new goals for ourselves at home and at work, but to me, its just other day. Well other than the fact that it is the one day of the year my family will put up with me cooking pork and sauerkraut, they can't stand the smell. However I am very excited about 2014 and the new adventures it holds for the Kinney Family. You see we started the adoption process back in November of 2012 and finished all the paperwork, home studies in November of 2013, now we wait. Not something I'm particularly good at, waiting. I don't even like to wait in line at the grocery store. But this is something I know will be worth waiting for.
After we finished the home study in November all I have been able to think about was the day we get the phone call saying they found two boys who would be suited for our family. Over Christmas I kept thinking it was like all those people awaiting the arrival of the Savior of the World, sadly some are still waiting. The song, O Come, O Come Emmanuel is one of my favorite Christmas Songs. The longing of the Messiah to come into the world - the waiting and expectations ring throughout the song. Now please don't think that I am waiting for two boys to join our family because I believe they will "save" us or that I liken them to Jesus. No I just think about how the people of the old testament longed for a Messiah and waited and waited with excitement and anticipation. "Will today be the day?" I can almost hear them say as they wake to start their daily chores.  I kind of feel like that. Every time the phone rings I think - Is that them calling with a placement? Its almost like when Meghan was pregnant, every time the phone rang and I saw it was her calling my first comment was not "Hello" it was "are you alright?"  I was that jumpy father to be, not just with the first child, with all four.  I'm that way again with the adoption - Is it time? Will today be the day? When will I hear something? What's taking so long?  But with all these questions the one thing I know for sure, without a shadow of a doubt is that God's timing is perfect. He's never early and He's never late - always just on time!
So it is with great expectations and excitement that I look forward to 2014 with the hopes of becoming a forever family for two boys.  So if you think about us during your prayer time, please say a prayer for the Kinney Family as we await the arrival of our new sons! O Come, O Come...