Living With A Special Needs Child

A friend sent me this link today knowing a few things about me, one I have a special needs child and two I enjoy listening to Joyce Meyer - I would love for you to take 28 minutes and listen to this message, it doesn't matter if you have a child with special needs, I'm sure you know someone who does (if you reading this blog you know someone who does - me!).
http://joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=Raising_Special_Needs_Children

I thought this message was timely, here's why; Every year for the past 5 years our church as put on a banquet for families who have been touched by disabilities called The Luke 14 Banquet. The event is based on the story from the Bible in Luke chapter 14 where the master sends his servants into the streets to invite the lame, the weak and the destitute to join him for a banquet. (the quick Scott version). Anyway we hold this banquet on Valentine's Day and have approximately 1000 guest and over 500 volunteers join us at 3 different locations for an evening of full red carpet treatment. Valet Parking, a walk down the red carpet complete with paparazzi, dinner, dancing and entertainment all for free for these special need folks, their families and caregivers. I love to see the joy in the faces of the guests as they are showed the love of Christ through service to them and their families.
http://shed.seacoast.org/campusfiles/video/Vid_Announcement/140126-Dispatch-MtP-Luke14-v1.mp4

I also thought this would be a good time for me to share my story of Coleman, my special gift and blessing from God.  If you watched the video you heard several times about how these children are a blessing and Coleman is a blessing in our lives - a challenge, but a blessing. I loved how Joyce said; "Its not something you're ready for but it is something God equips you for." And that is so true. When we were pregnant with Coleman we did not know she was going to be born with Down Syndrome. It wasn't until after she was born that we saw the features. I don't even think Meghan and I said anything at first to each other, it took a some time before we even mentioned it to one another, or even to the nurse. We did the genetic testing and it was confirmed that Coleman had DS.
I remember one of my first thoughts was; there goes my dream of walking my daughter down the aisle some day.  Then the next thought was;  if she does have DS they are such lovable kids and Tradd (my oldest child) was going to really take to her and protect her. And on most days he does. He also serves in our church's special needs ministry every weekend. I'm not really sure he would do that if we did not have Coleman in our lives.As the days past and we brought Coleman home from the hospital I remember to powerful thoughts I had that I believe were from God. One was me asking God why? Why me? Why did he give me a child with special needs? And I felt like God hit me across the head with a 2X4 and said; "Why not you? What makes you think you are above having a child with special needs." This was a sobering thought, but I was still walking around in a cloud trying to process this "adventure" I was on. One day while walking around the outlet mall I felt like God talked to me again asking me "Why are you walking around here? I gave you a beautiful gift and and either wallow in self pity, or you can go home and embrace the gift I have given you." I would love to say that from that moment everything changed and it was all a bed of roses from that day forward. However I would be lying. The next news we received was that Coleman had an AV Canal Defect and would need to have heart surgery. I tried to stay strong, I tried to put on my Christian face and say everything is okay, God is in control, but I didn't feel that way on the inside. Inside my head, I was planning Coleman's funeral because I didn't believe that it was going to be okay. Coleman ended up in the hospital at four months old with pneumonia, God saw her through it, but I still wasn't convinced she was going to make it through surgery. Then just a month before she was to have surgery (which she had at six months of age) I was at a conference and the worship team was singing Amazing Grace-My Chains Are Gone. As they sang the last verse "The earth will soon dissolve like snow, the sun forebear to shine, but God who called me here below will be forever mine." There was just something about that verse and we sang it over and over again and at one point I felt like I was the only one in the room - no one else and I was just singing that verse and I felt like God just gave me supernatural peace about the surgery.  I remember calling Meghan about it and her saying she was feeling the same peace and both confessing to the other the thoughts of planning a funeral in our head.
Over the years Coleman has been such a HUGE blessing to our family and anyone who meets her. She is now seven and a joy to be around (most of the time, after all she still is a child). Her siblings have their moments with her. Her younger sister Drayton often comments that she is Coleman's older sister because she helps Coleman so much.
At the age of 4 while on vacation in Michigan, Coleman got Croup and pneumonia at the same time. She was on a ventilator and was in ICU for 10 days. Meghan or I was always at her side except this one night. Coleman had been doing really well, and they even talked about taking her off the vent the next day so the nurse suggested we both go to the room the hospital provided for us to get some rest. I checked on Coleman in the middle of the night and she was doing really good. The next morning I headed down to the room around 6 am to find the room full of doctors and equipment. Sometime early that morning Coleman took a turn for the worse and the doctors weren't sure what was going on. The vent had been turned back up to 100%, they were checking her heart and everything else they could think of. I remember walking over to the widow of her room, staring out the window and looking up at the sky with tears streaming down my face I said; "God I really want you to heal my little girl, but if you take her home to be with you I won't like it, but I will still love you."
A couple days later God healed Coleman and we were able to leave the hospital and bring her home once more. I praise God for his healing powers.
With everything we have been through with Coleman I have to say I would not change a thing. I would not ask God to take away her DS - and even in the challenging times of pneumonia and heart surgery God drew me closer to Him and I am very thankful for that.

I just wanted to share my story of living with a special needs child! She is a huge blessing to me, even when she wakes me at 5 am. I love her to pieces as I do all my children and I know that God sees her as Valuable and she has a purpose!